Self-love is the very large, irreplaceable piece of the puzzle that is missing in most human connections. It costs both partners—and whole families—a great deal in terms of emotional energy spent on worry, feelings of insecurity, expectation of the need to compete with or be fulfilled by others, perfectionism, and other offshoots of not loving yourself fully, exactly as you are at this moment. As you go through life unconscious of this gap between your desire to be loved and your inner lack of self-love, you then project onto outer situations your feeling that not only are you not enough to yourself, but this person or that has confirmed your worse suspicions—that you do not measure up to that person over there, who clearly outscores you on every level.
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